A Much-Needed Lesson on Hyphens

“Is (insert ambiguous word or phrase here) hyphenated?”

We hear that question a lot, but the answer is almost never yes or no. Or, if the answer is yes or no, it’s likely oversimplified and quite possibly wrong.

There are very few always-hyphenated words, and in most cases, we cannot properly answer that question without further information.

Hyphens are vastly underappreciated, despite their incredible usefulness in enhancing readability, eradicating unnecessary quotation marks and opening a whole new realm of available descriptors to writers everywhere.

Hyphens Are for Adjectives

Is “health care” hyphenated? Not in this case, as we’re talking about health care as a thing that exists. However, if we’re talking about a health-care system, suddenly we need a hyphen.

In this example, “health care” as a noun does not require a hyphen. Only when used as a compound adjective to describe a noun (a system in this case) does the hyphen become relevant. It tells us we’re not talking about a health system, nor a care system, but a health-care system.

If you’re an argument-loving goon, you could argue that example due to the system debatably being both a health system and a care system, so let’s get more absurd. Wait—we already have. “Argument-loving” is not a word, and thus should not be subject to the opening question of this rant.

This example uses “goon” as the noun and “argument-loving” as the adjective. You’ll notice “argument” on its own is not even an adjective, so the idea of an argument goon makes no sense. You could be a loving goon, but that is vastly different from a goon who loves arguments, otherwise known as an argument-loving goon.

Hyphens Make Reading Easier

Many times, hyphens completely change the meaning of a statement. Knowing when (and when not) to use a hyphen means you can be better understood by anyone who may be reading whatever you’re writing.

Say you collect 100 dollar bills. You have exactly $100. However, if you collect 100-dollar bills, you have at least $200. Wouldn’t you rather have $200 than $100? Of course you would, you capitalist pig[1].

Hyphens Are Better Than Quotes

This rant is, unfortunately, rife with quotation marks. They’re necessary in this case to indicate which words and phrases we’re discussing among the actual use of those words, but in real life, quotation marks are probably just as overused as hyphens are underused.

The best example of the overuse and underuse is one that applies to both, presented in this fashion:

This is my “I’m going to use quotation marks incorrectly to show how things are often done despite the fact they shouldn’t be done this way” example.

And now, this is my I’m-going-to-properly-use-hyphens-to-describe-the-upcoming-noun-even-though-I-wouldn’t-recommend-using-this-many-hyphens-in-one-adjective-too-often example.

Let’s close with this piece of semi-related sarcastic brilliance from Dave Barry:

The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small-business signs to alert the reader that an “S” is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK’S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM’S. Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand-lettered small-business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random words for decoration, as in “TRY” OUR HOT DOG’S, or even TRY “OUR” HOT DOG’S.

[1] With my respect.