Now is as good a time as any (meaning better than any other time) to discuss writing direct mail. Obviously, based on the fact it still exists after all these years of people loathing it, direct mail can be an effective marketing tactic. Some of my most successful campaigns involved direct mail. However, that doesn’t mean we should hide behind the truth:
Direct mail (n): Junk mail.
You probably knew that, but just to be safe, and for you youngsters out there, it’s important to make it clear. Using simple laws of algebra, we have this equation:
Direct mail = Junk mail
We can imply a “+” sign in the spaces, leaving us with “Direct+mail = Junk+mail,” which lets us subtract “mail” from each side, leaving us with:
Direct = Junk
That is not true at all. Policemen don’t junk traffic, and there was never a wrestler named the Directyard Dog. The laws of math, just like the laws of society, do not apply to advertising. The only reason I took us on this little math detour is to get my mind off advertising for a moment (and to reference the late Junkyard Dog). I hope you enjoyed the break.
How did direct mail become known as junk mail? Simple: most direct mail, to most people, is junk. Worthless. A waste of everyone’s time. Why?
The percentages have changed over time, but we’ll use the numbers I first learned as a general starting point. Every direct-mail piece can be broken into three categories (the percentages represent the importance of each category):
1. Offer 30%
2. Creative 10%
3. List 60% (this percentage may actually be 70% or higher, which would obviously lower the value of the other two items).
The offer (keep in mind, I’m using “offer” as a noun here, which is not subject to my anti-offer-and-provide policy) is how we’re trying to entice people. “FREE!” is a commonly seen word on direct-mail envelopes. People aren’t going to get sucked into our world if we don’t entice them.
The creative is how we show it to them. Good concept, writing, design, etc. Make the piece do its job.
The list is to whom we send it. It doesn’t matter how good the offer or creative is if we don’t send it to the right people. If we’re giving away a free dryer with the purchase of a washing machine, we probably don’t want to send 2,000 brochures to prison inmates.
If you’re in the market for a new washer and dryer, this is not junk mail. But, since most people aren’t, it is junk mail. If 2-3% of people respond to our mailing, it’s considered a success. To put that into sports, it’s like batting .020 on your way into the Hall of Fame.
But, you may be asking, if the list takes more than half the importance of direct mail, why does anyone receive junk mail? Shouldn’t everyone only receive direct mail specific to individual interests?
Yes, but that will never happen. Just because we say the list is 60+% of the job doesn’t mean anyone actually puts any effort into it.
Lists are controlled by spreadsheets, which are controlled by people who don’t know how to use spreadsheets. There are exceptions, as some real companies who do good jobs generating these lists are out there. The problem is they don’t get hired enough because they cost money. How dare they charge for their expertise?
Most likely, you get ads relevant to you on the internet far more often than in the mail. This is due to the internet’s ability to track your every move and throw ads at you (but the joke’s on the internet, because typically all the ads I see are for my clients—the internet thinks my diligent research is fodder for selling me things).
Take that, internet.
Next time you receive junk mail (today), analyze it thoroughly during the time it takes you to walk from the mailbox to the recycle bin. See if you can spot the unbelievable offer. Is the creative doing anything for you? Should you be on the list?
Be careful, though. If you get into the habit of wanting to receive direct mail just so you can judge it, then technically it’s all relevant to you, rendering none of it junk.
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