Can I Get on the Internet Here?

The first time I heard it, I was taken aback. The second time, I was shocked. The third time, I was dejected, devastated and completely bewildered at the realization this is actually how people act these days. What’s the “it,” you ask? “Can I get on the Internet here?”

This is the question these participation-medal-hoarding kids ask at the start of meetings with clients. That is, before anything else is discussed. First question.

Literally, they’re asking a yes-or-no question, which is annoying enough because what they’re truly asking is for the company’s WiFi password.

But… The Internet

There are legitimate reasons to need Internet access during meetings. I fully realize this. A couple obvious examples: to reference a website or grab some files from the terrifically named cloud (although, even if that’s one’s preferred mode of file retrieval, of course there should be a back-up plan in case there is no Internet access). Because of these and other real uses, I must make clear I’m not advocating for the Internet to be shunned during meetings. The Internet is valuable.

But the first question? Before anything happens? A good time to ask for the password might be as you’re ready to reference some websites. And yes, you could argue it might save time to ask prior to the meeting, saying, “I’m going to need Internet access in the meeting, would you mind giving me your password?” That would be acceptable too, assuming the computer or tablet or whatever other thing is then ignored until the time comes.

However, I’ve been in these meetings. These kids get the password and spend the entire meeting hunched behind their open laptops (which are positioned so the client can’t see the screen), staring at their emails and Facebook pages. Unless you have a pregnant-and-ready-to-burst wife at home, nobody should be able to contact you while you’re in a business meeting. Most clients would not pay someone for an hour of time staring at Facebook, and yet that’s exactly what they’re doing.

Is This the World Now?

Maybe I’m out of line in thinking a client and a vendor who both took time out of their days to get together should actually spend that time solving whatever it is they’re there to solve. Maybe the norm is now to let everyone pay attention to everything and everyone aside from those people who are physically in the same room.

Fancy phones have killed social gatherings, which is no surprise, so I won’t get into the hideousness of it (not yet, anyway), but now even business meetings are susceptible to blatant rudeness?

Or, maybe, you’re in a meeting right now and reading this stupid rant, in which case I would like to thank you for your patronage and remind you: those medals you got as a child just for showing up mean nothing. Your mom drove you to the hockey rink, or soccer field, or baseball field, or wherever, and you got a medal before you even played the game. Why do you deserve a medal for your mom’s driving skills? Right: you don’t.

And you shouldn’t be ignoring your clients. As I noted in the first paragraph of this mass of text, maybe there are no more consequences to a complete lack of professionalism. In that case, you’ll be able to get away with it and be successful. Congratulations to you. But it’s a disgrace to society.